Breaking News: Mr Coffee Math Responsible for Financial Meltdown

My inhouse barista had an early appointment this morning so I was on my own for caffeination. My options included braving the La Pavoni espresso machine, spending a few dollars at the local coffee house or digging out the Mr Coffee and brewing up a few cups of morning sunshine. The Pavoni is more involved than I am able to cope with before caffeine (a bitter irony). Being unemployed, I’m avoiding trips to the coffee shop for $3 joe. So it was me and Joe DiMaggio on a ride through the Caffeination Theme Park.

The formula I use for Mr Coffee is two measures of coffee for each cup. Remembering that in Mr Coffee Math 4 cups = 2 cups, I added water to the 4 cup line and put in 8 measures of coffee. That looked like a lot but I like it strong so what the heck.

The thick, burly concoction that came out was heavenly, like unsweetened Turkish coffee. We even had some half and half in the house. I sat listening to disk jockey John Richards on KEXP as the dogs jockeyed for position on the couch beside me. As I neared the end of that first cup, I headed back to my devoted appliance, keeping the java at just the right temperature. Topping off the cup, I was saddened to see that’s all there is. Less than two smallish cups (not humongomugs) when 4 cups were promised.

The Mr Coffee Math

Invest 4 cups of water, 8 measures of coffee – this is your 401(k) contributions and your employer’s match

Switch to brew – this is a matter of trust. Will Mr Coffee yield something wonderful or just a pot of brown water? Will your diligent contributions to your 401(k) pay off with a comfortable retirement?

Yield: 1 3/4 cups – disappointment but at least you got a couple of jolts of caffeine. Now about that 401(k)…


One Response to “Breaking News: Mr Coffee Math Responsible for Financial Meltdown”

  1. Sandi Curry Says:

    Ahh, this reminds me of our workday after-lunch coffee outing, back in the Olden Days when we both were employed!

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